Widowed Parents Guide To Grieving on Mother's Day.
- Christina S
- 10 hours ago
- 6 min read
Grief is the price we pay for love and connection. But what do you do if you find yourself widowed and parenting this coming mother's day?
No one prepares you for this version of Mother’s Day.
The one where they are not here.
There's no card, maybe not even a gift. No coffee, and no whispered messages of love “You’re amazing, thank you, I love you.”
Just silence.
And a smile you force because younger eyes are watching you.
If you’re reading this as a widowed parent grieving the loss of your partner for the first time, I want you to hear this loud and clear:
You’re not alone.
While this day feels heavy, it is still sacred.
And, it’s all going to be ok.
You’re doing something most people can’t even imagine:
Loving through grief, all with a heavy heart.
Mother’s Day Grief: What Nobody Tells You About Being a Widow and Parenting.
Let’s call it for what it is - emotional whiplash.
You’re grieving and you’re surrounded by mother's day messages in the shops on billboards and social media posts - so much so, it probably makes you sick to the stomach.
This time, there's no special breakfast and perhaps not even a card written or received - because it's more than likely, your partner was the one that was teaching the kids about ‘Mother’s day’ and saying thank you.
And while you are receiving love from your kids, there's an empty space in your heart.
While you are trying to create moments and connection with the kids, you're holding back the tears, the anger and pain inside. Or, you're avoiding every place that reminds you that it's mother's day.
Being a widowed parent is exhausting.
Because you’re grieving multiple things at once:
1. The person you lost.
2. The version of life you thought you’d have.
3. Precious moments your children will miss out on.
This isn’t just another mother's day—it’s become something you dread.
And yet… you show up.
Each and every day, you do what you do, even with a heavy heart.
Why? Because that’s what they wanted and that’s what you do in the best way you know how.
You may not see it right now, but there’s wisdom unfolding in you.
Parenting While Grieving on Mother's Day: This Is What It Really Looks Like.
Grief doesn't pause because you're a parent.
But guess what? Parenting doesn't pause because you're grieving either.
And your kids are likely to sense something’s not quite right. They’ve seen all the mother’s day stuff around. They sense the turmoil in you.
You're walking two paths. Griever and parent.
And here's how you attend to the 'parenting stuff' without losing yourself in the process:
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For Younger Children (0–6)
They won’t say, “Mum or dad, I’m emotionally dysregulated because I miss them.”
Instead, they’ll cry, they’ll cling, they may not sleep and they’ll act up.
Here's what to do:
Stay grounded in your daily routine. Structure provides stability.
Use phrases like: “We miss them. It’s okay to feel sad.”
Draw pictures of them, or have something of theirs they can squeeze, play with and hold close.
Let play lead the way.
Your presence is more powerful than being the perfect parent.
For School-Age Kids (6–12)
They know more than they say. They’re often trying to “be strong”.
What You Can Do:
Follow their conversation cues. Don’t force conversations.
Start meaningful rituals (create a scrapbook of favourite things, a picture book or write little messages of love).
Observe them and be curious: Grief hides in tummy aches, sleep disturbance, behaviours out of the ordinary and even in silence.
Name it to tame it: “I feel sad today because I miss them.” Naming emotions helps them know what’s going on.
Be real, be you: don’t hide your grief. They can sense it. Just talk to them about it. “Even though I love this day, I miss them too”. “It’s ok to feel sad (or whatever it is you’re feeling). Let’s be kind to ourselves and make it a special day anyway”
Your honesty teaches them it’s safe to grieve.
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For Adolescents (12+)
Teens might seem distant, moody, and unpredictable at times. It’s totally fine—and it can all be part of their grief.
Here's what to do:
Give them space, but don’t isolate them.
Give them decision making choice n how they want to experience this day with you.
Validate their emotions too, even if it doesn’t make sense to you.
Let them grieve in their own way—through music, journaling, movement, whatever feels natural to them.
• Share your own experiences, so they know it’s ok to grieve too.
• Have something for you to do that’s kind and easy: something fun that you both love doing. Maybe it’s something light like watching a favourite movie.
Your consistency builds trust—even in silence.
And for the warrior, griever and nurturer. Yes you!
Here’s the part that get's skipped usually, right?!
Because who has time to process grief when there’s housework, homework, dinner, and bedtime routines?
So before you go treating this like a typical day, I want to:
Thank you for doing all that you do.
Thank you for being you, grief and all.
Especially if you’re the one everyone is leaning on and relying on.
And know this too.
You don’t need to “hold it together” for this mother's day.
If you need to:
Cry at the sink.
Breathe on the porch.
Let the laundry wait another day.
Get take out
Allow this day to unfold in whatever way feels right to you.
Allow the emotional wisdom that's in you, to rise and guide you through this day.
If you need a 'reset' to get through the day, then try This EFT Tapping Script:
Noticing how your feet connect to the earth.
Repeat this aloud (x3 times) or in your mind as you gently tap the side of your hand:
“Even though this is my first Mother’s Day without them, and it doesn’t feel the same without them, I accept myself as I am.
“Even though I’m grieving and trying to get through this day, I accept all of myself.”
“Even though this day hurts, and I miss them so much, I honour myself on this day.”
Now tap through your points and simply breathe.
That's it. Keep it simple. You got this.
Want a guided version? Tap along with me on YouTube
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Create a Special Ritual for You & Your Kids:
A Memory Tree
Looking for a creative activity to do with the kids that honours your grief? Here's a few examples:
Grab a piece of paper and draw a tree trunk.
On paper create “leaves,” each person can write or draw:
A special memory of their parent or guadianA message for them
A moment they might miss
Things they wanted to tell them
Stick them to the tree. Watch the tree come to life with love and healing.
Remember, there is no right or wrong way. Just truth and connection.
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If this has helped you in any way—share it with another parents who is now widowed.
Someone out there may be crying quietly in their bedroom, wondering if their doing this parenting and grief thing right.
Let them know, they aren’t alone and you are thinking of them. Every small act of kindness helps.
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Get Your Bonus - Free Grief Tapping Guide here.
If your grief is stuck. Contact me.
If the heartache is unbearable. Contact me.
If you’re ready to discover the power of holistic grief support (using EFT tapping, MAatrix reimprinting and Reiki healing) book your free 15 minute grief support consult to discuss you needs.
Discover how to create more ease in your grief so you can heal, honour and love in your own unique way.
Christina is a holistic social worker, Matrix Reimprinting, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) practitioner and Reiki master-teacher with a love of holistic practices to enhance wellbeing.
She works with people to free themselves from their grief struggles including those experienced through cancer, so they can move through life with more ease, confidence, love and joy, all while honouring their loved ones and themselves in their own unique way.
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