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5 Reasons Why Pet Loss Hurts & What you Can Do About It

Updated: Apr 13



Pet heartbreak is completely legit and here’s why. Your pet wasn’t “just a pet” were they? Their unconditional love has seen you form a deep connection that words cannot describe. Studies show that pet owners can grieve pet loss the same way as the death of a close family member. Yet society often downplays this pain, leaving many pet owners feeling alone in their experience of their loss. If you’re navigating the heartbreaking loss of your pet, or preparing for their end of life, know this: your grief is real, and you are not alone. In this article we explore 5 reasons why pet loss is hard, and I’ll give you some tips on how to create more ease through end of life transitions and into bereavement.


1. An Unbreakable Bond: More Than Just a Pet

Your pet was never “just a pet.” They were your confidant, your source of unconditional love, and an integral part of your family. This deep bond is what makes the pain of pet loss so profound. When you welcome a pet into your life, you’re not only opening your heart- you’re inviting a loyal soul that becomes a constant, comforting presence into a deeply connective experience called life. So it’s completely natural that their absence leaves a deep void.


Studies have shown that the grief experienced from pet loss can mirror the grief felt after the death of a close family member.* This is because the bond you share transcends simple companionship—it’s a unique, soul-level connection that shapes your identity, and the stronger your attachment with your pet, the more profound the grief is likely to be. So if your pet has been the centre of your world, and a deep part of your life, it’s likely you are going to feel all those ‘griefy’ feels even more. When you recognize that your grief is not only valid but an acknowledgement to the love your shared, you can begin to allow yourself to heal more deeply.


Tip: Consider this - “Do I believe that my love for my pet is something I can draw upon to create healing as I move through my grief?” If your heart whispers a soft “yes,” then you are already on your way to transforming your energy from suffering to freedom in your grief.


2. Disenfranchised Grief: When Society overlooks your pain

Have you ever felt that your grief isn’t allowed to be expressed, as society just doesn’t seem to get the depth of your loss? This phenomenon, known as disenfranchised grief, occurs when the grief you experience isn’t openly acknowledged or supported by the world around you. Or in some cases, due to the nature of the loss, there may be a stigma or fear of judgement associated with the circumstances of that loss that keeps grief in the dark. Unlike the loss of a human loved one, pet loss often flies under the radar, leaving you feeling isolated and misunderstood.


Imagine though, if someone acknowledged that your pain is valid and significant, that your grief is as real as any other. Even though society may impose ridiculous rules on what grief should look like, or how you should grieve, know this - you have the right to honour your grief and experience it in a way that suits you. Your unique experience deserves validation and compassionate support.


Tip: If you’ve been keeping your grief in the dark, try this. Visualise a future where you’re surrounded by a community that truly gets it—where you no longer feel like you’re grieving in silence. Having a supportive network can help you transform your pain into a source of healing. There are places out there that do get it, like Grief Australia that will help you each step of the way. It’s a matter of finding your tribe where you can just be you in any griefy way you like.


3. Tough Decisions: The Weight of End-of-Life Choices

Facing end-of-life decisions for your pet is one of the most heart-wrenching experiences a pet owner can endure. The internal chatter in the mind can be a recipe for unrest —“Have I done enough? Could I have done more?”— these types of thoughts can intensify feelings of guilt and anxiety, making the grief more complex.


Tip: When your thoughts weigh heavy, reframe it.

If you have faced the weight of end of life decisions that created a sense of internal conflict consider this instead: the difficult choices you made were acts of compassion based on the best you could do at the time. You were driven by love and the desire to ease your pet’s suffering a symbol of your love and care. And if your mind might replay those moments like a song getting too much air time, remember that every decision was made from a place of love.


Remember this: Love transcends all and you can discover new ways to express love through honouring the memories of your pet and more.


4. The Absence of Farewells: Missing Rituals and Their Healing Power

Rituals and ceremony have an uncanny ability to soothe the soul. When we say goodbye, a funeral or a meaningful ceremony helps mark the transition and provides an opportunity for closure for many. Unfortunately, with pet loss, formal rituals are often missing, leaving you without a clear pathway to honour the love you shared.


Imagine having a gentle, private ceremony that gives you the opportunity to say your farewell to your beloved pet, a moment crafted just for you, where every detail reflects the unique bond you had with your pet. Whether it’s writing a heartfelt letter, creating a photo album, or even designing a small, personal ritual at home, these practices can offer a powerful way to experience closure and to celebrate that special bond.


Tip: Consider incorporating something symbolic that resonates deeply with you—maybe it’s a cherished image, a favourite blanket or seat. These anchors can evoke memories of happier times and serve as reminders that the love you shared remains ever-present.


For those seeking guidance in creating these meaningful rituals, there are plenty of ideas out there that move beyond traditional thinking. Remember, your grief is valid, and so is your need to celebrate the unique journey of your love, so find something that speaks to your unique bond. Who know’s there might be a tattoo in the making!


5. Life Feels Empty Without Them: Rediscovering Light in the Darkness

When your pet is no longer by your side, life can feel overwhelmingly quiet and empty. The daily routines, the silent snuggle time, and shared moments of joy are all of a sudden missing, leaving a hole in your heart that seems impossible to fill.


Consider this: Embrace small, daily practices that remind you of the joy your pet brought into your life. Whether it’s lighting a candle in their honour, snuggling with their favourite blanket, journaling your thoughts or taking a quiet walk or drive to familiar places that were shared with them, these practices can help you slowly reconstruct ways that you can move through your grief without feeling overwhelmed by it all.


Sharing your story with others can also create a powerful ripple effect — community groups and support services can minimise that sense of isolation, help you feel supported, validated, and provide inspiration on ways to move through your grief with more ease. When you see others who have a shared experience and have transcended their grief and integrated grief into daily life, you’re reminded that you too can find your way back to joy.



 

End of Life Transitions: How to Support Your Pet and Yourself.


Supporting your pet—and yourself—through the final stages of life is one of the most challenging, yet profoundly beautiful, experiences you can endure. Here are some gentle ideas to help guide you through this delicate time.


Comfort Techniques for End-of-Life Care


• Gentle Touch and Reiki: Even if you’re not a trained reiki practitioner, the simple act of placing your hands on your pet with loving intention can be incredibly soothing. Our hands are powerful conduits for healing energy. Placing a gentle, cupped hand on their body will enhance the flow of comfort, and allow your love and caring intentions to become the ultimate healing touch.


• Gentle Tapping: A subtle yet powerful technique involves using two fingers to tap gently along the sides of your pet’s spine. This method sends calming signals that help ease anxiety and pain. For instance, Alice experienced a remarkable transformation in her cat Mimosa’s behaviour. Most nights, Mimosa was agitated due to her severe arthritis and dementia. In her final days, Mimosa was noticeably calmer and wanting to be held through nightly spinal tapping sessions. These techniques not only help your pet but also provide you with a sense of control and comfort during difficult times.


• Create a Sacred Space: Whether at home or even at the vet’s office, creating an environment that reflects love and calm can make a world of difference. Surround your pet with familiar items—a favourite blanket, cherished toys, or even soft music—to create a sanctuary of peace and reassurance can allow pet’s to ease into their transition.


• Speak Softly and Calmly: Your voice is a powerful instrument of healing. Speak gentle words of love, gratitude, and reassurance. The sound of your voice can comfort your pet, reminding them that they are not alone in their final moments.


• Be Present: Sometimes, the most sacred of healing acts is simply being there. Hold your pet, sit quietly by their side, and let your presence convey all the love and care you feel. In these moments, words may not be necessary—instead let the silent bond you share speak volumes.


• Enlist Support: If you’re overwhelmed, consider reaching out to someone you trust to support your pet during their final moments. A compassionate friend or family member who is familiar to your pet, can help ensure that both you and your pet receive the calm and comfort needed during this time.

Many pet owners find that having tools to help their pet through end of life with love and peace allows them to feel more empowered through the process and provides them with an opportunity to express their love even through a difficult transition as saying goodbye.



The journey through pet loss is deeply personal, filled with moments of overwhelming grief and unexpected beauty. By understanding the reasons behind your pain—whether it’s the unbreakable bond, the overlooked grief, the tough decisions, the absence of farewells, or acknowledging the emptiness you feel—you’re already taking a significant step towards healing.


If you’re ready to transform your grief as a celebration of love and renewal, I invite you to take the next step. Visit my website at www.energywithinyou.com.au to learn more about the unique, personalized grief support sessions designed specifically for pet owners like you. Book a session to explore tailored strategies -grounded in proven science backed techniques —that empower you to embrace your grief, to honour your pet, and rediscover a life filled with energy, love and healing.


Remember, your grief is totally valid—it’s a reflection of the profound love you have given and received. And now, you have the opportunity to transform that grief into a powerful force for personal transformation. Access the support you need to help you create a journey of healing with greater ease. Your new beginning awaits.


 

References:

Packman et al., (2011) Continuing Bonds and Psychosocial Adjustment in Pet Loss Journal of Loss and Trauma 16(4):341-357

 
Christina Strouzas - holistic social worker and EFT tapping practitioner tapping on karate point.
Christina Strouzas - holistic EFT tapping practitioner.

Christina is a holistic social worker, Matrix Reimprinting, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) practitioner and Reiki master-teacher with a love of holistic practices to enhance wellbeing.


She works with people to free themselves from their grief struggles including those experienced through cancer, so they can move through life with more ease, confidence, love and joy, all while honouring their loved ones and themselves in their own unique way.



 



 
 
 

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